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Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Why Making Excuses Hurts You

 The following article is from PsyBlog: http://www.spring.org.uk/2011/11/self-handicapping-why-making-excuses-hurts-you.php

Most of us have a strong fear of failure.

It's partly because we don't want to look bad in front of others but it's also about how we see ourselves. We are afraid to fail because it damages our view of ourselves, our self-esteem.
To protect our self-esteem, psychologists have found that people use all sorts of self-handicapping strategies (from McCrea, 2008):
  • Not trying very hard.
  • Procrastination.
  • Listening to music or using another type of distraction.
  • Drinking alcohol and taking drugs.
The beauty of not trying too hard is that, should we fail, we can always say that it doesn't reflect our ability. In some ways it's a rational strategy. If you succeed you look especially gifted, if not then your excuse is already there.
Indeed people with high self-esteem seem to be more prone to self-handicapping (Tice & Baumeister, 1990). If you can succeed without really trying then you must be super-talented. So the more a person is convinced of their own talent, the more they like to prove how easy it all is for them.
The problem with self-handicapping is pretty obvious, i.e., you don't give yourself the best chance, so you don't get the best result. Sure enough self-handicapping behaviours are associated with lower motivation, less persistence at difficult tasks, less self-guided learning and lower performance in general.

Dangerous excuses

The methods of self-handicapping above are pretty obvious, but there is also a more insidious type of mental gymnastics that will cause problems. This is when you make excuses for a poor performance afterwards.
In a series of experiments McCrea (2008) tested the effect of these explanations on participants' future motivation. What they found was that making excuses made people feel better about themselves because they were shielded from lowered self-esteem. But, on the other hand, the excuses reduced the motivation to prepare properly in the future.
The line between an excuse and an explanation is a fine one, but generally excuses reduce motivation because they tend to:
  • Blame others rather than ourselves.
  • Make poor outcomes seem better in comparison.
  • Lower expectations for the future.
So the first step in avoiding self-handicapping is noticing and cutting out the most obvious self-defeating behaviours, like not trying very hard. On top of this it's important to try not to make excuses as they will reduce motivation. It will mean taking a hit to your self-esteem, which will hurt in the short-run, but will allow better performance in the long-run.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

An Inspirational Note from Michael Jackson

"I have learned that it is what you put in your mind mentally what you think and do, that makes your person. And you can put any mental object in this mind and it will bring it to reality. So this means we can program ourselves to be the people we want to be, Whatever the subject matter is, live in it By a mental physical program or system of learning and doing. Studying all the greats in that field and becoming greater." 

Monday, November 28, 2011

What's Your Legacy Going To Be?

I got a question for you. When it's all set and done and your six feet below, what is it that you want people to remember you by? Do you want just your family and friends to remember you, or do you want the whole world to mourn your loss? Your destined for greatness, everyone in the whole world should be filled with tears when you leave this earth. Don't limit yourself and filter your dreams. You have the power to impact the world. Stop living day to day and doing petty activities. Be great. Your time is now. Your a legend in the making. The world deserves your talents. The world is yours, all you have to do now is go out there and capture it. 

Sunday, November 27, 2011

How To Overcome Fear By PT Cheng


At times, you might have thought about excellent money making ideas, which can turn you into a millionaire. Unfortunately, you do not have the courage to turn your ideas into millions.

Is it fear that is holding you back? I notice that fear has everything to do with our lives, whether you realize it or not. Because of fear, people are willingly being ordinary, poor, and being caught in a boring job.

Fear is a very destructive force. It kills enthusiasm, encourages procrastination, eliminates self-confidence, drains your energy, and decreases imagination.

Why do you have fear in the first place? Indecision and doubt breed fear. Have you noticed that in your attempt to become rich, when you're not sure and in doubt, fear will appear? The appearance of fear will stop you from achieving what you want.

More often than not, fear is only your perception and it's not real. It's only a state of mind. That's why F.E.A.R. is the acronym for "False Evidence Appearing Real."
Overcoming fear can lead you to not only have more money; it improves virtually every aspect of your life. But how do you live a 'fearless' life?

There are many ways to overcome fear.

One of my favorites is to gather as much information as you can. When I decided to learn stock trading, which was a totally new area to me then, I attended an investment workshop, surfed the Internet, read books on investment, and subscribed to newsletters. There is a lot of information, on any imaginable topic, easily available to you now. By gathering facts and information, you can overcome your fear and also learn from experiences of other people.

Another best way of overcoming fear is having a mentor. A mentor is not an advisor or consultant. A mentor is someone who has achieved what you want to achieve. And he has indicated his willingness to help you. A mentor will advise you on the shortcuts and the mistakes that you should avoid. By having a mentor, your fear is gone since he will always be there to guide you. This also can save you time on trial and error.

Just do it. I borrow from Nike's slogan. Yes, this is another way of overcoming fear. Most of the times, when you have a plan to achieve wealth, you tend to think too much and worry too much. You suffer from a disease called analysis paralysis. As a result, there is no action taken. Do not think too much and just do it. I'm not suggesting you to do it blindly. My advice is do not over-think, keep it simple, and just do it. Remember, indecision leads to fear. You'll be surprised that once you did it, it's not that difficult anyway. And the fear you had before just disappeared.

Ask yourself this question, "What is the worst thing that can happen to you in this situation?" If the worst-case scenario is acceptable to you and you're willing to take the risks, by all means, go ahead. You are aware up front that even though you fail, you already know the consequences. The awareness of the worst-case scenario eliminates the fear in you, fear that holds you back. It's even better if you know that the probability of getting the worst-case scenario is slim, this motivates you even further to take action to achieve your goals.

The more you fear, the more you need to confront your fear. You have to confront your fear, not to avoid it as what most people do. If you do not confront the fear head on, the fear will be always there. If you fear public speaking, the only way to overcome this fear is to stand in front of an audience and speak. I don't think there is a better way to do this, do you?

Finally, believing in yourself helps you to overcome fear. You must believe that you can do it. One of the simplest ways of overcoming fear is to affirm to yourself, "I can do it. I can do it." This simple exercise eliminates the doubts you have, as well as your fear. Believe in yourself and act as if it were impossible to fail.

Being rich is a matter of overcoming fear: fear of failure and fear of making mistakes. You owe yourself a better life. Use these techniques and conquer your fear, then you'll have a life full of wealth and happiness.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

How To Change The World

Does your dream involve you changing the world? I know mine does. With that said, have a look at the videos below by Eben Pagan who teaches you how YOU can change the world. Great talk, if I must say. Eben is one of the best out there! (Quality kind of sucks, but still make sure you watch it). 



Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Enjoy Yourself

With Thanksgiving around the corner I just wanted to make the theme of this post centered around enjoying yourself and having fun. Try something new out, you deserve it. Don't forget to be gracious for all the good and the bad in your life, because believe it or not the bad especially builds your character. 

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Dana White On The Enemies You Accumulate As You Become Successful

The more successful you become, the greater the enemies you accumulate. The question is are you prepared for that? Are you cut out for that? Or are you concerned with making people like you? The reality of the situation is success attracts enemies. DEAL WITH IT or don't chase success. It's that simple.


Watch Dana White's interview below
Starts from 8:25 mark till 10 min mark. 



Friday, November 18, 2011

The Importance of Balance

The following song stresses the importance of balance. Don't get so caught up that you forget to spend time with your  loved ones. Chase the american dream with a passion, but also spend time with the ones you love. You can have both!


Thursday, November 17, 2011

Some Music You Might Enjoy

I get in the zone when I listen to the following songs, although they aren't really the typical motivational songs that you might expect. Instead they focus on life in general. Hope you enjoy them. Have a listen...


Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Do Whatever It Takes to Succeed

The video below demonstrates how you should be willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish your goals.


Monday, November 14, 2011

Lebron James - Dream...Believe...Inspire...Succeed

Keep working and itching towards greatness and it's just a matter of time before there's videos made about you like the one made about Lebron above. 

Friday, November 11, 2011

Dare To Dream The Impossible

The following article titled "Believe In Ridiculous Dreams" is written by Heavy D


Some years back there was a young, ambitious, tenacious young man who wanted to rule the world. This young man and I grew up in the same town. I was slightly older by a couple of years but I had already begun to realize my dreams. This young man reminded me a lot of myself.


1. He believed in himself when no one else would.
2. He often felt like an outcast and alone because there was nobody around that he could share his "RIDICULOUS" dreams with and because most people couldn't see that far.
3. No one wanted to hang around this person because they found him either annoying or NUTZZZ!
4. He never quit, he never gave in to anyone's opinion of him. He'd rather be alone than give up on his dream.
Damn, "That was me," I said, that's how I felt when I was coming into my own and striving to realize my dreams. I did sound crazy. I did feel alone. Hell, I was crazy and still am. I know what this brother is going through.
"From now on..." I said to him, “You can roll with me ... tours, videos, studios, meetings. Just come hang out.” We became fast and close friends actually more like brothers than anything else. He called my mom "MOM" and I called his mom "MOM." Till this day it remains so.
I helped this young brother without any expectations for myself. It was just so reminiscent of my endeavor and of my lonely dreams that I felt like I had to help him. Now, I didn't know it at the time but I was mentoring this young brother. Again, for me it was just helping another brother out who wanted to do something bigger than anyone where we were from could realize.
We would sit for hours in my mom’s basement and talk so much sh** about what we would do with our first million dollars and the types of cars and houses we would buy. Today, I still laugh at the nerve we had. But that's what it took. NERVE!!
Funny thing about “passion,” it will lead you directly to your dreams. So yes, I mentored this young man, albeit indirectly. 
Today, this young man is one of the most powerful, hard working, famous people on the planet. He's done things that I have never imagined doing myself. He is smart, shrewd, and still tenacious.
He has accomplished more than he and I ever discussed. He has gone on to create and even re-create some of the most recognizable brands and artists in the entertainment business.
He continues to break down barriers and change the game. Time and time again, he has faced adversity, criticism, hate, jealousy, ridicule and pain but he has always maintained his drive and his dream.
Today, he is now a mentor to many. And the irony is that he is even a mentor to me without him ever knowing it.
I am constantly inspired by this brother. I reflect sometimes on our many conversations as “dream chasers” and “outliers.”
I will never lay claim to the heights that he has brought himself to but I will say that if you or anyone you know has a "ridiculous" dream remember, it doesn't take much to encourage someone to go for that dream and this brother is living proof. 
I have another friend who told me a great quote. Allow me to share it with you.
"BEING REALISTIC IS THE MOST COMMONLY TRAVELED ROAD TO MEDIOCRITY"  -Will Smith
So, here I stand today proudly in the shadows of a true dreamer.
I salute you Mr. Sean “Diddy” Combs. And may you continue to dream, the "RIDICULOUS" dream...
BLESSINGS,
HEV

Thursday, November 10, 2011

How To Live Life The Right Way

A couple days ago I heard a fellow colleague utter the quote "don't take life too seriously, you will never make it out alive." I thought about that quote for quite some time and drew some key insights from it that I would like to present to you. 

I think the above quote is marvelous in a way and also dream shattering in another. It all comes down to how you interpret it. I interpreted it as a reminder to never get caught up in my failures and to never get discouraged when things don't go my way. Instead I focus on laughing it off, but also learning from it. I think the quote should motivate you to learn from your failures and to keep moving on. Some people however, may never try their hand at anything because they don't see the point. That is the wrong way to look at it. We should instead focus our attention on laughing off our failures, chasing success, and becoming legendary. You only live once. Each day is a blank canvas. You are the artist. You decide what happens. You are the general. You make the choices. YOU ARE IN CONTROL. With every decision you are either becoming closer to living the life of your dreams or you are drifting away from it. Lets shorten the gap between our dreams and our reality. Don't let the nonsense get to you. Life is beautiful. Be thankful that you have an opportunity to live out your life the way you want. Remember no one is forcing you to stay living the way you are right now. If you are unhappy with your current circumstances, make some changes. You won't see change in your life overnight, however in due time it will come. Just be patience. You will live the life of your dreams. For some it will come sooner, for others it will come later on. Therefore, NEVER GIVE UP HOPE AND NEVER STOP TRYING.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Success Depends on You

No one is going to come down and make you successful. If you want to become successful then it's all up to you. You can't expect hand outs. Make the right decisions and chase success. Stop screwing around. We are only getting older. You want success? GO GET IT.

Friday, November 4, 2011

How To Stop Living In Fear

Stop worrying about what people say, be confident, and go towards your dreams. Be bold and make bold moves. Move towards the path of success with confidence. Don't get discouraged. Every failure is a step closer to success. Success is a journey it doesn't happen overnight. But you have to act boldly and continue pushing on even when things aren't going the way you planned. Never give up, be willing to die before you utter the dream shattering words "I give up." Remember at the start of each new day that tomorrow is not promised and your time is limited, there's going to come a time when a new day begins and your not going to be living on this opportunist planet. You have to take advantage of your time and be willing to follow your heart and not preconceptions others have set out for you. At the end of the day you are going to die alone, and if your not happy and successful on your deathbed than you will only have yourself to blame. Don't wait till your on your deathbed to realize that what others say doesn't matter, it's all about you. Follow your heart. 




Success comes from passion... 

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Inspiring Song of the Week

The time is now on everything
Took my heart away from money
Aint interested in fame
But I pray that never change
Ambition is priceless
It’s something that’s in your veins
And I put that on my name

Now I move with aggression, use my mind as a weapon, Cause chances are never given they token like interceptions

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

A Must Watch Series: Oprah Winfrey Presents Visionaries: Inside The Creative Mind

Oprah Winfrey brings to you Visionaries which is a series about some of the most creative minds on this planet. You get to watch them work first hand from the comfort of your couch.


Here's a quick little teaser about one of the creative minds Tom Ford.